Cracking the Code
by Christi Carter
Summary: Aragorn and Faramir were only trying to have a quiet lunch with their wives. Unfortunately, Arwen and Eowyn’s conversation force them to change their plans. Luckily, Legolas is there to help them.


**Cracking the Code**

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I am simply borrowing them for my own entertainment.  
Contact: Author's note: I had written this a long time ago as tribute to the torture that my friend endured on the behalf of myself and another girl. I hadn't planned on this being the end, but when I went back and read it I realized I liked it better as a one-shot. Anyway, this is dedicated to the two of them, for giving me my inspiration.

And then he... Arwen trailed off, giving Eowyn a small smile that communicated more than a thousand words.

No! Why? Eowyn almost fell out of her chair. However, the two men sitting on the other table thought it was anything but funny. The king of Gondor and his steward had been concerned that their wives would dislike each other, especially since Eowyn had once had feelings for Aragorn. Yet the two had become fast friends, instantaneously forging a friendship that their husbands could never understand.

The two men knew that the women had lost the need for names, places, and even ideas long ago. Pronouns now replaced the nouns. There were fifteen kinds of , each with its own inflection and meaning. The women also had many uses for the word it described their husbands, sons, servants, guards, and strangers. In fact, and seemed to be the only words the two women knew. Sometimes there was a , , or added to the mix, but there was nothing to clue in the guys to what the subject was,

Well, you wouldn't believe what he told me? She looked at the smirk in Arwen's eyes. Yes. And then he couldn't stop talking about it for the rest of the night. The two were talking about two unrelated subjects at the same time, but they were fairly confident that their husband's didn't know it. Actually, the were two completely different people.

The two continued to chat in the same manner, until eventually their conversation drove their husbands mad. My apologies, Arwen, but I must get back to work. Thank you for the lovely lunch, Eowyn.Think nothing of it, Lord Aragorn. It was my pleasure.

Aragorn grinned at Faramir, relishing his quick escape. Faramir's eyes begged Aragorn to take him with him. The steward looked ready to go through any torture possible if he could only escape the mindless chatter that surrounded him. Eowyn, I'm sorry, but I must steal your husband. I need his advice on a certain matter.

Faramir sprinted out of his seat like it was on fire. Of course, my lord. Where to? Your study? I'll lead the way. The man looked ready to go anywhere as long as it was a mile away. Aragorn had to bite his lip to keep a smile from spreading on his face. As Aragorn left he shuddered as the conversation started again.

Anyway, he..Really! Wow. Aragorn shut the door after himself and almost ran to his study, trying to get away from the voices floating from underneath the door.

Aragorn heard laughter coming from inside his study.

Surely they are not that terrible.No, they're worse. Faramir replied. Aragorn laughed as he entered the small, circular room.

Legolas, when did you get here?Not more than fifteen minutes ago. I was searching for you to tell you of my arrival when Faramir told me you were escaping' your wife. He grinned as he teased, I did not know that Arwen was that bad, mellon nin.Only when she is around Eowyn.

Faramir shivered. They should never be together. They always talk really fast and then they start using that code of theirs and their hand gestures and looks and... and... He took a moment to compose himself while the other two stared at him, openmouthed.

Is it really that bad?You have no idea.Actually, I might. Father has been encouraging me to get married, sending me to many parties where there are swarms of them. They always stay in groups, and you can never tell if they're talking about you or not. It is very frustrating.I have a theory, stated Aragorn, that all women have a secret code they use when they want to torture men.Not just men, but elves too.Maybe it affects every race? mused Faramir.

Aragorn had a mischievous glint in his eye. Do you think this code can be broken?

The other two starred at him like he was crazy.

Maybe it can be broken like any other code. Obviously they can decode it easily.Of course, they made it.It is all pronouns and verbs-Not always, interjected Faramir.

We would need to go back there to figure it out.Go back there? Faramir paled. Go back there!It's the only way.You are crazy. No one would ever want to go back there. He was shaking his head violently, refusing to consider the idea.

Anyone want to help me?'

Legolas took one look at Faramir. Are you sure this is wise? Some things we are better off not knowing.They won't even know that we are listening to them.Well, I'll help, even though I think it will be a waste of time. Legolas and Aragorn gathered parchment and a few quills to take notes. The crept quietly down to the sitting room, where Arwen and Eowyn were still talking.

And then he...Who? Him?No, 

The two wrote down every word they heard, trying to remember the inflections involved. Soon they became bored, as the conversation seemed to go around in circles. They let down their guard, only half-listening to the conversation within.

The two felt that there was something was different. They barely had enough time to comprehend what when the door opened, revealing two infuriated women glaring at them.

Some important advice needed, Estel, Arwen said, sarcasm dripping from her words, along with a hint of a threat.

Well, um... Arwen, dear, see... Aragorn knew when he was fighting a losing battle.

Aragorn was just helping me find a ring I dropped, Legolas helped.

Aragorn could have slapped Legolas upside the head for the lame excuse, one that the two would not fall for.

Is this true? she asked Aragorn.

Arwen eyed him suspiciously, but decided to ignore the two for a second.

It was great talking to you, Eowyn. We should get together more often.I would love that. I shall see you tomorrow. While the two women got the last few words in Aragorn and Legolas tried to sneak away.

I can spend the night in the most dangerous forest in middle-earth, but what scares me the most is returning home to _that_.You're starting to sound like _them_, Legolas teased.

Aragorn shuddered. 

The End


End file.
